If you’re feeling the pressure, you’re not alone. Societal expectations get really loud at this time of year. There’s an expectation that you need to reassess your entire life and polish every habit you have to make yourself a successful human. 

You need to have the great career, the six figure salary but also have a great partner/family that you spend quality time with.

You also need to be able to look younger even though you are ageing and loose weight because no one will love you if you over a size 10!?

Oh you must also meditate daily, read books on self help, run 10k’s and have a spinach smoothie filled with yuk protein powder….coz mmmm that sounds great. The list can go on and on. It’s exhausting just thinking about it let alone trying to live up to it. 

It’s no wonder that this time of year can leave you feeling like you’re not enough and really anxious to this year, become your best self.

You will probably then devise a list of ten new habits (that are miles away from your current ones) so that you can finally achieve successful human status in 2023. 

It’s BS my friends. don’t buy into all of this conditioning. It’s detrimental to your wellbeing.

If I could suggest one intention for the year it would be to let go of all of the ‘shoulding’ and connect to what YOU need, value and desire. 

Buying into all of the conditioning keeps you  stuck in the belief that you are not enough as you are, which my friends is a big downer on your sense of self!! Now – I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have goals, vision and intention – I’m actually a huge believer in this!

The difference is in the view point in which you come at it from. 

Creating  your goals from a viewpoint of needing to improve/fix yourself in order to accept and love yourself and be ‘successful’ in the eyes of others you will never feel satisfied.

You will always feel desperate for the day that you become enough. 

You will judge yourself harshly because you will never measure up, and you will always be in an internal state of stress. 

If you flip the script, let go of the ‘shoulds’, everything will shift.

Creating your intentions based on what you ‘need’ to feel well in your life, what you value and what you desire will lead to  personal satisfaction because your life will be in alignment with who you are.

When you flip the script you are coming from love not fear. From wholeness not lack. You will feel more grounded, more compassionate towards yourself and less stressed. 

So how do you switch from the ‘not enough’ viewpoint into wholeness and compassion?

Do these 3 things:

1. Ask yourself what you need 

What are your non-negotiables for feeling like a well human? What brings you feelings of peace, safety and contentment? 

2. What do you value?

What are the things that are most important to you in your life? Is it family, friendship, freedom?

3. What do you desire? What lights your fire and makes you heart sing?

Desire can be tricky because we are conditioned not to live in accordance with it, like it’s a….

‘nice for some’ concept. Or, ‘if I didn’t have all of these obligations maybe I would think about what I desire’.

However desire is a vehicle for your uniqueness to be expressed.

It fuels your soul and fills your cup. When we ignore desire we lose connection with who we are and end up feeling depressed – desire being pressed down leads to depression. As soon as you can accept that desire is key to your wellbeing the more you will be aligned with the right path for you.  

So, go ahead and journal what you need, value and desire and see what comes up for you. 

Or if you want more guidenece, check out my course Living Intetioanlly to really get moving.

Journalling example, you may discover that a need (non-negotiable) is ‘you time’.

You may also value personal freedom and desire to go on mini trips away by yourself.

Based on this you can set an intention that you will honour your need to create time just for you every day/week so that you stay mentally and emotionally well. 

Working this way allows you to let go of the ‘shoulds’ and brings you back to what actually feels right for you. 

You will know how to lead your life intentionally rather than just going through the motions. 

The magic of living this way is that you strengthen your relationship with yourself because you start to turn your awareness inwards. You stop abandoning your needs in favour of another’s and start listening to and honouring yourself.

This deepens your sense of self love and self trust because you are saying “I matter” “I am important’ and ‘I am here for me now”.

Intentions set from a place of love are far more likely to manifest than those set from a place of lack and not feeling good enough. 

Love yourself. Don’t punish yourself. 

Measure yourself up not down (that’s a whole other blog!)

You are beautiful and exceptional, all you need to do is believe it and give yourself more of what you need, value and desire.